Today I put my emotional running to the test. I got bad news this morning about my "other family." Grandma passed away after a battle with cancer. I'm always the rock, so few people see me cry. I immediately started formulating my road trip to Harpers Ferry and DC, what would make every one cheer up the best, and how I was going to handle my own pain. The pain that is so familiar to me, but it never gets easier...
This afternoon I took advantage of the clouds and lovely 75 degree weather. I danced around the house and jogged up and down the stairs gathering my "supplies," aka my watch, shoes and bandanna. I clipped on Orangie the iPod and got my run started with "This is Why I'm Hot." At first I thought about how my shins hurt, then the tears started to flow. After three or four minutes the tears stopped. I ran harder and faster than I have in weeks. I met a great dane that was terrified of me. We're the same size, so he's just a wimp. I thought about how much I love Caryn and her family, and how Grandma is now in a better place and not sick anymore. Then the sun came out, it was like some movie director was following me. I was inspired and did another look around the pond in the back of my neighborhood, and even tried my chances with the great dane again (he ran away and "hid" behind a baby tree). On my last laps someone's sprinklers had come on just in time to cool me off, and the smell of all the freshly cut grass kept me going. As I clicked through trying to find the perfect song to do my final sprint I took a deep breath and kicked it in. I left every last bit of sadness on the road. After all, we should celebrate her life.
To me, emotion drives me in all aspects of my life. My top 5 runs ever have been happy, sad, depressed, excited....a little bit of everything. The road and I have become friends over the last 11 years, and I think we're going to stay friends for many more years to come. I'm glad that it doesn't get upset when I lay serious emotion and thoughts out there.
1 comment:
Caryn and her family are lucky to have someone like you in their life :) They need someone to make them smile and remind them that life is worth celebrating, even when those we love are gone. RIP Grandma..
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